Surveillance (200 words)
Old Crazy was a fixture of Liberty Park, a landmark as recognizable and immutable as the mermaid fountain in the square.
“They’re watching,” he’d say with faraway eyes and a discordant tone of immediacy.
If you asked him who was watching or why, you’d never get an answer. But people generally didn’t ask – like most of the homeless population in the city, Old Crazy’s prophetic rants and physical presence went ignored.
All the kids were scared of him, except my brother, Zeke, who wasn’t scared of anything. He was twelve, carried a jackknife, and always tried to lose me when he walked me home from school.
I hiked up my backpack, tightening the straps. The buckles didn’t work since before it was Zeke’s, but mom insisted it was perfectly good. I gripped the straps up by my collarbones. It made me feel less afraid to hold onto something.
“Check this out,” Zeke said, pinching my arm too hard.
We were passing the eagle statue that Old Crazy sat under. The bird stared down at us in stony disapproval, but even when I knew it would be bad, I did nothing to stop Zeke as he crept up behind Old Crazy.
This is a submission to Sunday Photo Fiction, a weekly challenge where writers post a story in 200 words or fewer in response to a photo prompt, shown above.
Sydney Hartle 
Sounds like Zeke was about to learn a lesson. Hopefully one he would remember for a long time. Good story!
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Thanks for reading!
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Great job of providing strong impressions of so many characters in so few words. Superb work.
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Loved the setting and characters. Like To Kill A Mockingbird gone wrong. Well done.
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I know who my moneys on, three interesting characters, I hope we see more of them.
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A great scene you’ve created here. Excellent.
Click to visit Keith’s Ramblings
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I loved your description of Zeke:
“All the kids were scared of him, except my brother, Zeke, who wasn’t scared of anything. He was twelve, carried a jackknife, and always tried to lose me when he walked me home from school.”
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Thanks, James! I’m glad you stopped by to read.
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Love the sense of place this scene evokes. Loved it!
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Thanks! 🙂
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Great FF. Gotta wonder what Zeke is going to do…
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Ooh, that ended on an ominous hook! Nice tension and character-building.
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Thank you!
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Absolutely love this.
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Thank you 🙂
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I agree it sounds like Zeke will learn a hard lesson. Old Crazy could be a war veteran trained in self-defence. Good writing, Sydney. —- Suzanne
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Great story Sydney. Wish I could be there to see Zeke get more than he bargained for. I wonder how long the eagle had been watching over Zeke.
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